The year 2015 started out with dread for me… Fifty… I will be FIFTY in October. The thought of turning 50 was ever present in my mind. I should be better off in life and more organized, I thought.  I should be able to keep my bedroom clean, I should have a retirement plan, I should have a new car! I should have more time for fun and why am I still binge eating? I thought when people reached 50 they become sparkly beings with their life and issues in order. I wasn’t sparkly, I felt bad, and I was really down on myself, never looking at all I have accomplished. I have a thriving business that helps many people on a daily basis, and I have awards to prove it. I was also scrutinizing my physical body… My hair is thinning and my face is getting saggy. “Look at the wrinkles around your eyes!” I would stare into the mirror and wonder where the young face went.

Then by March I started to get meaner to myself saying things like “How can you call yourself a massage therapist…you talk to people about health and you are fat!”  I was worried, subconsciously and consciously every second of every day. Finally, I had had enough. I was stressed out to the max. I thought, “Some people take a big trip when they turn 50 or throw a big party”. I thought I would take the money I would’ve spent on a trip and get spa treatments every week. Treatments not to treat my new wrinkles forming…but to treat my soul. Massages, foot reflexology, reiki, facials…I had a stock pile of gift certificates that I started to use up, I was getting 3 services a week to start. Foot reflexology, reiki and a massage for the first two weeks then foot reflexology and either a massage or facial the remaining weeks, EVERY week I had two treatments! I scheduled it in, like clockwork. It was hard at first to feel like I was worthy of all this, but I didn’t listen to myself, I kept going, I kept saying “I AM WORTH IT” Something amazing started to happen after the third week…The negative talk was gone. I was accomplishing more at work, and could focus easily. I cleaned my bedroom! I donated many bags of clothing, and cleared the clutter in my home. I actually started to love myself, just as I am and I was dressing a little differently. It was because of the touch I was receiving…I was honoring my body. I was giving myself a GIFT….. I was allowing myself to let go and relax. I began to believe that I AM worth it.

In the new year people sometimes become restrictive with themselves and doing things to punish themselves…I would urge all to be kinder to yourselves, allow yourself to feel good through the many touch therapies out there. Make a relationship with a massage therapist, an esthetician or a reiki practitioner…watch what happens….YOU ARE WORTH IT!